Saturday

Saturdays on the boat are special.

More of my shipmates are home. There's no work to wake up before dawn to go to. The river comes alive. I can see my home in the daylight.

Outside and in, the boat looks like something the Wombles built when they were on vacation from Wimbledon Common.

Win waving from the deck of the ROR

The ROR, and our two sister ships, were all former working boats that previously hauled coal or other sundries. Just hulls when the admiral bought them, the remainder of the structure has been constructed by the by hand. Like a womble, the admiral has repurposed a lot of architectural salvage to create our home.

Saturday is also the day I come into to contact with the general public. We're moored in a beautiful spot, and on a bright, clear day, the path is full of pedestrians and cyclists, dog walkers and children.

Most of them have nothing nice to say about our boats.

Laden with my washing, not yet showered, wearing my muddy sneakers and knit cap, I climbed off the boat and met an elderly gentleman on the path.

"So, is it all illegal immigrants that live there, then?"

I started back at him.

"No... we're mostly poor young people"

"Ahhh. Poor young people."

He crossed his arms behind his back and continued his stroll.

This filled me with a strange type of anger. I realise this is a well-to-do area, and that the folk that live around here must think the worst when they see our boats. For me, this boat had been a place of immense healing. I love my boat family more every day.

We are a physicist, two uni students, a textile restorer, a security guard.

We're boat management - those who live and work on these boats, doing hard, dirty work every day.

We're a software developer and a care worker and an early childhood development expert.

We're a procurement whiz/jack of all trades for a car sharing club.

I am more angry at myself than at the old man. I didn't do my tribe justice when I went with 'mostly young and poor'.

I continue on to the laundromat. In my minimalist fashion, I enjoy not having a washing machine at home. It makes me think more about my clothes. I don't just wash things 'just because'. One wash a week is enough.

Sitting in front of the dryer is warm

If I am lucky, the physicist comes with me and we wash clothes together. We have join custody over a box of washing powder. We load the machines and head to the cafe for something greasy and some coffee.

I will usually disagree with the bill before we leave. Last time they charged me 30p more than they should have for my coffee.

It's the principle.

Lucky number 28

We usually stay at the laundromat while our clothes dry. It's warm, and you have to check the machines constantly. Things dry in a strange order. You take things out as they dry, hoping that will speed along the damp items that remain.You get down to your last few coins and hope it will do the job.

If not, it's off to the corner shop to buy a bottle of soda to break a bill for change.

Washing done, we wander back to the boat.

Everyone does their own thing until the generator (hereafter referred to as the 'genny') comes on at 18:30. When the lights come on, we cheer. We entertain each other. We watch nature programmes on BBC4 and bitch about our frustrations. We cook.

Once, we decided to drink boutique vodka and gin while watching a Disney movie marathon.

Aladdin takes on a whole new meaning whilst merry

We tore through the Little Mermaid, Mulan, and Aladdin before we ran out of steam, shouting out the lyrics to songs we didn't know we still remembered. The general and slightly inebriated consensus was that we are excellent singers and that Saturday karaokee needs to be a thing.

Saturday ends with stowing things in our cabins, checking the fire, and dampening the flue, before climbing into bed. We drift off to the sound of rain, waterfowl, and the river rolling along.

2 Rules for Life

In life, there are really only two rules. That's it.

Rule #1 - Don't be a dick.

Sometimes, it's really tempting to be a dick. I get it. Life throws a lot of little frustrations at us. Emotions well up and beg to be expressed.

Sometimes, we face people and situations that make us feel weak.There's a temptation to transfer that negative energy somewhere else. Usually to someone weaker. We want someone else to feel like we do.

When you transfer that energy, you're being a dick. 

When you shout at someone because you've had a shitty day at work, that's being a dick. When you nitpick the way someone does something because you've just been nitpicked yourself, you are being a dick. When you sigh loudly at someone struggling to get out of the train because you slept in and are late for work, you're a dick.

Cut the cycle of dickery. Don't pass it on. Surrender to that moment of feeling weak, engage in self care, and then decide whether you will accept the situation, change it, or leave it. 

Rule #2 - Be Excellent to Each Other

When you've mastered rule #1, the only other rule to follow in life is to be excellent to each other (all due credit to Bill & Ted for this turn of phrase).

Easier said than done. People can be difficult. Hard to understand. Sometimes they act down right vile.

Thing is, life is finite. And nothing in life is certain, including the duration of that life itself.

Since we've got this limited time with each other, it follows that there's no real advantage to being anything other than excellent to the people that you cross paths with. 

Hold doors for people. Say please and thank you. If someone falls down, help them up. If someone looks sad, ask them what's wrong and listen. Apologise when you hurt someone. Reach out to people you haven't heard from for a while and ask them how they are. Always make time for the people that you care about. Tell the people that you love that you love them. Tell them often. This is being excellent.

Today, I learned that someone I care about has died. It is deeply sad. I feel helpless in the face of such finality. I feel powerless facing this reality. I really don't want to say goodbye.

Out of this haze of grief, one thing I can see clearly is that I want my response to this tragedy to create something good. My friend that died lived life's two rules, and my friend's death has reminded me of why they are so important.

I want to make a deliberate and concentrated effort to be excellent to others, and I'd like to encourage you to do the same.

Go and show someone you care about them. Right now. It won't take long. 

How to Live Your Dreams: Part I

I moved onto the boat for three main reasons, recapped here:

1. Test my values - Can I live minimally? Can I relinquish my attachment to things?
2. Save Money
3. If 1 and 2 work out, start vagabonding

Vagabonding is my grail. It's what I have always wanted to do - to become a perpetual traveler with no fixed abode. Living in different places for long enough to know them, to learn the language and the people. And then to keep going.

Living our dreams is what we hope to do. So why do many of us get off track? Why is living the best way for us, in our one finite life, such a hard thing to do?

In this multi-part series (I haven't decided how many parts there will be yet - it's a work in progress), I will take you through how to live your dreams.

Part I: Know what your dreams are

"Wait a minute. Of course I know what my dreams are. This is supposed to be helpful how?"

Well... do you?

If you list out your dreams right now, what would they be? Think about it for a minute or two. I'm not going anywhere.

If you are anything like I was, your list might include things like these:

• To have a high paying, interesting job
• To live in a nice house that I own
• To go on holiday to interesting places
• To be respected by my peers and surrounded by interesting people
• To be viewed as an equal by my ex

So? Reasonable dreams? Achievable? Aren't these quite normal aspirations?

Perhaps. But there are issues with these, and one specific problem with all of them:

These are not me. These dreams are not my truth.

These dreams were dreamed with other people in mind. These dreams were driven by what they would say to others about me. These dreams had their outer limits set by others. In the case of being respected or seen as an equal, they were wholly dependent on others. 

To know what your dreams are, there is only one person to ask. Only one person whose opinion matters, only one person to set limits. That person is you.

To get to the real essence of your dreams, do the following:

1. Dream like a child. Guaranteed, when you were a kid, you had dreams. Boy they were big. Do you remember them (I bet you do)? Think about what you wanted to do when you were small, or think about what you'd like to do if you had zero responsibilities and endless time in front of you. Think about what you would do if you had a million dollars.
2. Set limits. Thing is, you're not a child. You (probably) don't have a million dollars. You have responsibilities and people you love. This is where you set your limits. The trick is that you need to do make sure these limits come from you, not from an external source. Stop saying, "This dream is impossible, I'm a partner/parent/carer. I'm old/poor/not sure where to start." Start asking, "How can I become a partner/parent/carer that does this? How can I do this starting from where I am now?"
3. Check your dreams and your limits against your ultimate aims. This is the litmus test. Ask yourself, "Will living this dream help me to achieve my ultimate aims in life?" Ask yourself, "This limit I've set, is it there to keep me on track to my aims?" If the answer to either is no, then you need to ask yourself why you have the dream or have set the limit. Answer honestly. 

Once you know what your dreams are, you're one step closer to living them. Don't rush and take the time to really think. Ask yourself a lot of questions. This is the only real way to know if you are following your bliss.

The Easy Way to Get to the Gym Everyday in 2014

You want to get fit? Want to build up strength and endurance? So, you went and purchased a gym membership, with the new plastic membership card taking pride of place in your wallet. Well done!

Thing is, getting to the gym can be a bit of a process, can't it? It's cold/raining/hailing/blowing with gale force wind outside. You're hungry/tired/stressed/looking forward to watching your favourite television show. There are 1,001 things you could do rather than go to the gym.

The buyer's remorse sets in. You've signed away £40/£50/£80 a month for the next year on that gym membership. If you don't use it, you're wasting resources. You won't get strong. Most importantly, you won't be caring for yourself in the way you intended.

But you're in luck! I have learned the secret to getting yourself to the gym every day. What's more, it's easy! You will wake up in the morning looking forward to getting to the gym. The weather won't matter. What's on TV won't matter. You'll find yourself thinking about the reasons to go rather than the excuses not to go.

The best part - I will share my method with you completely for free.

The easy way to get to the gym every day in 2014 is to have a shower like this in your home:

Enter the shower

First, you need to build it where there is no heating, and with single pane windows that face directly onto a wide open surface. There should be nothing between the outside and the glass to break the wind.

The tanks... basically glorified pressure washers

Then, have no running water. Don't plumb that shower in! Instead, make it a process, where you need to boil up hot water to fill the tanks. Once full, you need to pump them to build up enough pressure.

The 'shower head'

Finally, use no fancy shower head attachments. A large aquarium cleaner head will do!

Once you have constructed your shower, the gym instantly becomes a magical place. There's hot running water you can use, hands free. There's central heating, meaning that you don't risk pneumonia every time you wash and then stand in a freezing room soaked from head to toe. And the shower can last for more than 4 minutes!

Using the easy way to get to the gym everyday in 2014, I've already gone everyday since December 1st, with the exception of Christmas Day and Boxing Day (when I got just a little bit ripe). That's all there is to it.

You'll find that going to the gym becomes as much a part of your day as taking a shower.

The First Month of Boatlife in 25 Bullet Points

It's hard to believe, but I've reached the one month mark. Actually, a bit beyond a month, as I moved in on December 1st. One month of watching and learning. One month of thinking and writing.

So, is it cold? Yes. Is it hard work? Yes. Are some of the people mental? Yes. Do I regret moving on to the boat? Not for one minute.

Here are 25 reflections on my first month of boat life:

• Living minimally has as much, if not more, to do with clearing the clutter out of your mind as it does with clearing the physical clutter out of your space.
• Little things matter. Heat. Electricity. Clean clothes. Showers. Hot water. I appreciate them more.
• Old hippies make excellent conversation partners.
• I feel an enormous sense of accomplishment everyday, because I do more every day.
• I notice the little victories - every time I come aboard and don't end up in the Thames is a win.
• I am a more capable human being than I was a month ago. I can make fire.
• Not having a proper shower at home is one of the best things that ever happened to me.
• It's hard to feel sad for long when you watch the river roll by.
• I am obsessed with the weather. Storms are scary. Rain matters a lot.
• Less internet makes me more efficient when I have it, and more social once it is done for the day.
• There is great pleasure in taking care of yourself. 
• The mind goes quiet when you focus on the physical sensations of your body at work.
• There is a genie that lives in our teapot.
• Related to the teapot, people that did LSD for decades make interesting conversation partners.
• I can use a circular saw, a jig saw, and I am an expert with silicon sealant. 
• Staying over at a friends house feels like staying at a luxury hotel.
• We are so ridiculously lucky, and most of us are so absurdly unaware of it.
• The universe provides, so long as you open your eyes and are receptive.
• There are spiders everywhere and not much you can do about it.
• I get unnecessarily angry when someone shits in the piss loo.
• Even living on the edge, there is abundance. Even if you can't see it at first.
• Chalkboard paint is bad ass.
• You won't die if you brush your teeth with river water.
• People carry lots of different kinds of pain. Everyone has a story. There is value in listening to them.
• Kindness takes many forms. Receive gratefully, show it often.

What lessons are to come in month two?

Essentials: Taking Risks

Living on this boat is like low-level, constant exposure therapy to taking risks. In particular, coming and going from home, a daily thoughtless process for most, takes on new meaning here.

Getting on or off the boat requires you to take risks. Multiple risks. Some are minor - make a misstep and you'll be covered in mud. Some are not - put a foot wrong, and it's into the Thames.

On a boat or in life, there are 6 key things to remember when taking risks:

1. Know your options. Then decide. After making it through the dark, muddy park, the first choice you have to make is how you will get to the tow path.

Option A:

The slippery path

Option A is a slippery path. Advantages - Multiple hand holds (tree branches). More tree detritus for traction. Roots limit how far you can slide in any one go. Disadvantages - Poor visibility. With the right level of rain fall, the path quickly turns into a slick. Some of the trees have thorns.

Option B:

The steps

Option B is a set of steps that a long gone shipmate once cut into the bank. Advantages: Better visibility if the generator is running. Known foot falls. Occasionally some gravel for traction. Disadvantages: No hand holds. Intermittent giant puddle at the bottom of the steps not visible from the top. Large piece of metal jutting out of the top step.

Weigh your options carefully. Consider weather conditions, footwear, how laden you are, if the wind is up, and your level of intoxication. Then decide. One way or another, you will make it to the tow path.

2. Accept that there will be unavoidable muck you just have to get through to reach your goal. Once you have made it to the tow path, you have no choice but to walk it.

The shitfest that is the tow path

As with life, sometimes the unavoidable crap is almost ok, and sometimes it is like a disgusting river of feces. Put your head down and just keep going.

3. Use the resources available to you. Taking risks shouldn't be a blind leap into the abyss. That is a great way to wind up with broken ribs and a belly full of river water.

The gang plank

After wading down the tow path, you arrive at the gang plank. If you thought the challenges so far were daunting, well, they were just the beginning. You now need to make your first move over the river.

What resources do you have? You have your senses. Look at the base of the gang plank. Is it secure? Test the bank side against your weight. Does it slide? You have the choice of 3 tree branches for hand holds. You have your wits - how much are you carrying? Is there frost?

4. Move quickly when you sense success. Gang plank crossed, you will find yourself on a gerry rigged step attached to the side of the OKC, our sister ship.

The step up

Build on your successes. Move quickly. Step up. Grab the rail boat side. Pull yourself up. Push yourself up. Whatever you do, do it quickly. Especially if the river is high and at your heels. Use your momentum.

5. Face the fear. You've done it. You've taken the small risks that have led you most of the way. But the biggest is yet to come. That moment where you have the most to lose, just as your goal is in sight.

Almost home...

You know it's coming. The fear rises. But remember, you know your options, and how to decide. You know it will be unpleasant for a bit. You know there are resources available to you, and that it pays to move quickly rather than hesitate when success is in sight. Face the fear. And then...

6. Be brave. Act. You step up, first on the breeze blocks, then on to the sturdy wooden stump. Lashed to the stump is a steel pole, welded to the hull of the OKC. Home on the ROR is now one step away. But, this is no ordinary step. It is the most important step. It is the most risky step.

The gap of doom

Look down, and you see the murky Thames churning below. The OKC is lashed to the ROR by a single, thick, ancient chain. As with life, sometimes the weather is calm and the last step is easier than expected. However, sometimes the wind is blowing with gale force, rain is cutting at your cheeks, and the boats are moving to and fro in the frantic tides of the river.

Easy or terrifying, there is no other option. If you want to reach your goal, if you want to go home, you have to act. You alone. You have to make that last stretching nearly impossible step.

You hold on to the steel. You test the distance by stretching out your leg. Distance judged, you move. You throw out a short leg, and touch deck. You push off from the pole, you lean into your leap, and in that last airborne millisecond, you hope you will make it. You believe you will make it.

And with a little luck and a lot of practice, you do.

Beyond Resolutions to Success

How many resolution-based Facebook statuses have you read today?

At the beginning of January, we reflect on the year just gone, and turn our dreaming mind to the possibilities of the year just arrived. We draw energy from this process, as we peer into this near future of could-bes.

I celebrated the arrival of 2014 like it was Bacchanalia in ancient Rome. I spent 14 hours soak in wine, dancing myself to ecstasy, and symbolically letting go of 2013. It was animal, and it was good. 

Now, with the previous year released, it is time to look forward. 

Often, New Year's resolutions don't last long before ending in disappointment. The aforementioned Facebook statuses could be part of that problem. Sometimes, sharing our goals with others can actually make us less likely to achieve them.

How can you achieve what you want to in the year ahead? How can you move beyond resolving to succeed to actual success?

Here are 3 simple ways to get started:

1. Know your priorities. Any of your goals should align with your ultimate aims in life. If they don't, are they really worth pursuing?
2. Do it for yourself. Just as with taking care of yourself, your goals shouldn't be about other people. They should be about you. 
3. Dream... then act. Our dream minds are powerful things. They help us to see what could be. But your dreams will remain nothing but unless you act. Do something now to move closer to your goal - something other than telling someone about it.

The best part? You don't need a new year to start making changes or working on goals. Your dreaming mind is always there, and you always have the power to act.

How will you better align your life with your ultimate aims in 2014?