Minimizing Fear

Fear is a funny thing.

It is at once an instinct that keeps us from harm, while also being an irrationality that holds us back. Plus, it feels bloody awful in the moment.

An unexpected side effect of the last several months has been the decrease in the fear that I feel. As I moved away from the end of my marriage, as I got my mind sorted out, as I started to make decisions, and when I started to work on Operation Greenrock - at each step, the fear that I carried lessened a bit.

That said, I still have fears...

Arriving home on a December evening

I feel fear in the dark. The end of my walk home takes me through a very dark park to the river's edge, where the waiting lights of the boat eventually rise up out of the river.

The piss loo window on a Tuesday morning in December

I feel fear sitting on the piss loo (so named because we have a separate loo for doing "big jobs") in the early morning, thinking about what creepy crawlies might surprise me mid-stream.

My (incomplete) fear inventory from there goes something like this:

• Fear of taking risks
• Fear of not being able to take care of my self
• Fear of foxes, rats, bees, and spiders
• Fear of losing face
• Fear of missing out 

What can you do about fear?

The key to reducing fear involves three steps:

1. Surrender to it in the moment. Fear, like all emotions, is inherently valid when you feel it. Ride the wave out and be kind to yourself afterwards. Remember: your feelings don't define you.
2. Build a body of proof that you are stronger than you think. When you are doing something that shows objectively that you are capable, be mindful of it. Pause and become the observer. Take note. Say to yourself, "Look what I can do". 
3. Set yourself challenges. As you build up your body of proof that you are stronger than you think, set yourself small challenges to your fear. When I still felt a powerful fear when faced with making decisions, I started out with making a very small decision, like what to eat for dinner.

Reducing fear over time involves a cycle of steps 1-3, not always repeating in that order, with an emphasis on diligent mindfulness throughout. 

As I continue pursuing a more minimal lifestyle, minimizing fear steadily is as important to me as minimizing the amount of stuff in my life.

What are you afraid of? What one thing could you do today to challenge your fear?